i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
