I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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