this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
