Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
