PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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