Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
