TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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