Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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