She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this boner is exhausting
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize