I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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