Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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