i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
