Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
