The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
