Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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