I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize