margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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