Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
