Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
