she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
