You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
