Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize