i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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