She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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