In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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