i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
