help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
