I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
