the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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