Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
