I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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