Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
