My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
