plz talk dirty to me
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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