Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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