White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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