When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
