OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
