Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
