So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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