i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
