I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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