beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
