I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
