I just cut my nipple shaving
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
