how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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