somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
