Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
