Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
