is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Found your dick twin last night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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