we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Non-Jews are for practice
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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