The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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