you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
