i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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