homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
