you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
