I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
whose parrot is this?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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