I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
