i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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