to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
