Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
