I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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